| Are you willing to work more than 4-hours shifts? |
Yes
No
Yes, but I will sign up for a shift and then not show up, or call, or
even write to say I cannot come. You will cry. You will fear the worst.
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| Do computers scare you? |
Yes
No
if no, why not ... ?
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| Is English a language that you write and speak fluently? |
Yes
No
¿Que?
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| Do you have graphic design experience? |
Yes, I am a wizard with Photoshop, InDesign, Illustrator and all things graphic designey (and subsequently, owned by Adobe).
I’m not bad and you should give me a chance to prove it.
My portfolio consists of a crude stick figure I drew on a napkin at a bar last night.
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| Does the word Dreamweaver appear anywhere on your resume, or is it just the name given to you in all those B movies you made in the 70’s? |
Dreamweaver is for chumps ... 1337 coderz like me just need a text editor
They call me THE Dreamweaver
I can handle some Dreamweaving ... I’m no hard-core coder, but I ain't no n00b
I don't know web design, but I love that song! ... I BELIEVE YOU CAN GET ME THROUGH THE NITE!
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| If you had to compare your writing skills to a famous author who would it be? |
Hemingway - an economy of words yet everything I write sings with visionary subtext
Steven King – Engaging yes. Literature, no
Bill O’Reilly – I’m dirty and I don’t care who knows it
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| Do you like to do research? |
I spend an average 20 hours a day on wikipedia.org
I know how to type things into search boxes
Like research has ever done anything for anyone ...
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Do you want to do research for us on grants?
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Yeah, get real paid son
No. Art isn’t about money, man. It’s about sacrifice and living in poverty. You guys are so corporate.
Only if you ask me to.
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Do you have professional experience hanging art exhibitions?
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Yes, you will be impressed ... I carry a level in my back pocket
Not professional experience, but I bet I can do whatever you need.
I know what a hammer is, but don’t ask me what it does.
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I Prefer to work in:
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